Now don't get me wrong, I am beyond excited and beyond ready to come home. But before I do a blog post about how pumped I am to board that plane, I think it is only appropriate that I pause, get a little sentimental, and give Chile a proper goodbye. Chile has been good to me. Well, actually, God has been good to me. When living/traveling/studying abroad, there are so many factors that are beyond our control. And God came through big time for me in Chile, (like He always does. Still trying to figure out when I seem to always doubt Him!) One of the biggest ways God has provided for me in Chile is through the people. I am such a people person. Thus, having such an amazing host family was key. And then there are the amazing friends in my program, the instant Chilean friends when I arrived, a missionary couple that has been more than hospitable (in fact, I am still living in their home!), the incredible family whom I worked with at the summer camp, not to mention all the wonderful people I met traveling... The list could go on!
Yes, Chile and I have had some rough patches. I mean, I'm still not too keen on their cuisine. Come on, Chile, too much mayo! But still, I cannot hate on their food. The avocados are amazing and I can still taste that amazing empanada de mariscos that I ate in Concón over Dieciocho. Yes, I am ready to leave Chile, but it's not her fault. It's just time. Time to go. Time to go home. ((Yes, I will get to what's next in another post, but bear with me for a bit))
Okay, so I was walking home, getting all softhearted etc. and just really thinking about how much I have enjoyed Chile and how blessed I am. Leaving is always hard, but as the saying goes It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. As sappy as that is, it holds some truth, especially when I apply it to my abroad experiences and saying goodbye. Yes, it will be hard saying goodbye, but I'd much rather have that hurt than have never had this experience... I just hope that I can leave Chile well. When I arrived in late August, I was a bit of, well, a mess. In hindsight, I was scared, scared of the unknown, scared of leaving my comfort zone once again to brave this big world flying solo. I didn't know what I was doing, where I was going, I didn't have a plan. And in that respect, things haven't changed much. I still don't have a five-year plan or anything but I'm at peace, whereas when I left for Chile, I was not. That is absolutely a result of not trusting God, with everything. If there is one thing I have learned these past couple years, it is that I am not in control, He is. And that is a good thing.
It's terribly hard (especially for a planner) handing over the reigns to God and trusting in Him for it all, but it is terribly freeing as well. One of my favorite passages regarding "plans" is in Isaiah: I am the Lord your God, who teaches what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea. Trust God. Follow Him. And walk in His ways. Thus, coming to Chile was hard, okay, downright difficult because I was trying to call the shots of my life and fit God into my own mold. So in reality, God bringing me to Chile was even more of a blessing because it was here that He got me back to where I needed to be, which is in the center of His will.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that yeah, leaving Chile will be bittersweet and it will be sad, but I am able to leave Chile with a peace in my heart. I know it is time to leave, time to move on. And I am so very, very excited for what He has for me next... ♥
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